今天情人节了,下班路上一卖玫瑰的人拦住我。问:“靓仔买花么?”“为什么要买花?”“买花送女朋友啊”“哦,正好我没女朋友,买多少花能送个女朋友给我?没事,不差钱!”接着老板默默的把花收回去了。
睡醒后发现老公已经上班去了,我懒洋洋的伸了个懒腰。从嘴里捏出来一根头发,心想这么短,肯定是老公掉的。不对!老公没烫头呀?
妈妈叫我不要熬夜,因为晚上11点到1点是肝脏排毒的时间。我问:“难道肝脏不会根据我的生物钟调整排毒时间吗?”她愣了一会儿回答:“不会,它到点就排。”有点难以接受,不能想象我这么聪明的人居然有个这么蠢的肝脏。
闺蜜的姐姐是大龄剩女一枚,最近拍拖认识一个比他小十几岁的帅哥,面对我们的纷纷祝福,她幽幽长吁一口气,说:“ 我怎么有种老年得子的感觉 ”。
女人妖的叫美女,刁的叫才女,木的叫淑女,蔫的叫温柔,凶的叫直爽,傻的叫阳光,狠的叫冷艳,土的叫端庄,洋的叫气质,怪的叫个性,匪的叫干练,骚的叫有味道,嫩的叫青春靓丽,老的叫丰韵犹存,浪的叫众星捧月,牛的叫傲雪凌风,闲的叫追求自我,弱不禁风叫小鸟依人,长得不像女人的叫超女。
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his